There are so many things that I have not  overcame yet, like the music. During this period of time, I have only listened to relaxing music, chillout music, music for meditation and it has relaxed me. But the summer came, and with it the open windows that alow coolness of the night to pass and the music of the terraces that sneaks without permission within households.
I can’t, and I don’t know why, perhaps the bad memories, is how works this disease, which sees only the negative side and is unable to remember the positive. And my body reacts immediately to hear it, as if there would be a dry seed inside me that  when drinks of the rain, sadness, anxiety, loneliness and despair start springing up along the song.
And I fight, I try to get used to it, to  don’t give it any importance, to continue with my duties as if there was only silence, but the half asleep shadows that are within me, wake up with the noise.
And I that used to danced…

Hay tantas cosas que aún no he superado , cómo la música. Durante todo este tiempo sólo he escuchado música relajante música chillout, música para meditación y me relaja. Pero llegó el verano, las ventanas abiertas para que entre el frescor de la noche y la música de las terrazas que se cuela sin permiso dentro de los hogares.

Y no puedo, y no sé el porqué, quizás los malos recuerdos, es lo que tiene esta enfermedad, que sólo ve la parte negativa de las cosas y es incapaz de recordar lo positivo. Y mi cuerpo reacciona inmediatamente al oirla, cómo si dentro de mí existiera una semilla seca a la que riegas, va brotando al largo de la canción la tristeza, la angustia, la soledad, la desesperanza.
Y yo lucho, trato de acostumbrarme a ella, a no darle importancia, a seguir con mis tareas cómo si sólo existiera el silencio, pero las sombras medio dormidas que quedan dentro de mí, se despiertan con el ruido. Y yo que bailaba…

– by Dreams’Espe 07/07/2016
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