This night, I went out for a walk, I have been trying to walk around my town for more than two months, and I always ended up coming back after 15 minutes or so.
But tonight, out of the blue, I have started walking at 11pm with my dog and the fresh air of the night has helped me to do it completely.
But I forgot a thing, when I went to over the middle, I started listening to bachata music, and immediately I thought: ” Oh my God!, tonight is Wednesday summer, so there is a dancing party in a garden beside the road in wich I am walking”. I decreases the speed of my steps to think about what would be better, if going on for this way trying to distract me with my relaxed exercise or else, or coming back home. Eventually I decided to go on walking. It was such a strange sensation that I really don’t recognised myself.
Whenever I was approaching to the place, my anxiety was increasing with each step, I began looking for the opposite side, attempting to think about the different green tonalite of the trees, but when I was opposite the party, I turned round to look at this. I only could see arms moving, the rest of the bodies was occulted by a fence. At this moment, sadness entered in me like a knife, but I couldn’t remember that I used to dance. The world seemed stop while my steps got quicker and quicker to move away from the music. Seemingly everything was unreal, I mean, I was walking and although the music hurt me, this seemed come from the other far and former world in which I lived in another life, but not in this.
I am fill of a mix of emotions and at the same time I am completely empty.
It’s all a new world for me.