1. Yesterday it was a complicated day

Yesterday it was a complicated day, as of lately. My depression and anxiety that are not cured, has joined a diagnosis that has sunk me more. Borderline personality disorder.

I have had two or three suicide attempts in two weeks. Yesterday I went to a square and I sat down, with alcohol and pills,  Itake them as if they were candies, I  was swallowing beer and taking  pills, until I reached a limit where I said to me ‘no more, please’ For my family, not for me that I would have followed until I finished them. I put the backpack on my head and slept for a while, giving me the fresh air, with the peace of silence, with the freedom of being able to do what I want. But I knew that my family was worried, so I upon awakening against my inner desires, I would have stayed and taken all the pills. I walked down staggering because of the anxiolytics and I went home where everyone was desperate on the street.
This is a day so many more.

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Let live for your dreams

Live for your dreams

And never by those of others,

You are told by someone who made the mistake,

Of not living for sacrificing.
And in the end, the others notice,

Your little desire to fight

In a world that does you dont fit

Nor  you will ever do it.
And that makes them unhappy,

Because you do not really give yourself away

Your life is consumed

Until the life of you is gone,

For we were not born to live for others,

But for us to the extremity,

And that way we can

Deliver the best to others.



                                     Vivid por vuestros sueños 

y nunca por los de los demás,

os lo dice alguien que cometió el error,

de no vivir por sacrificar.


Y al final los demás lo notan,

tus pocas ganas de luchar

en un mundo que no encajas

ni jamás lo harás.


Y eso a ellos les hace infelices,

porque no te entregas de verdad

tu vida se consume

hasta que la vida de tí se va,

pues no hemos nacidos para vivir por otros,

sino por nosotros hasta la extremidad,

y de esa forma podemos

entregar lo mejor a los demás.

Asking ~ Pidiendo

I identify with graffiti:

  1. I see my child asking for equality, opportunities, understanding.
  2. I see myself asking for peace and tranquility and of course, freedom.

Me identifico con el grafiti:

  1. Veo a mi hijo pidiendo igualdad, oportunidades, entendimiento.
  • Me veo pidiendo paz y tranquilidad y cómo no, libertad. 

  • by Espe Pérez

    If I told you

    If I told you,

    my day by day rather than my sensation

    if instead of feelings counted in the form of poetry and images

    I told my everyday,

    the most famous soap Opera it would be cartoons compared to mine,

    the good and bad films would be a comedy to me

    and I would win the best movies award of scenes funny and errors

    and the Oscar to the dramatic real story .

    If I told….

    Más en español. SI YO TE CONTARA

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    The dream ~ El sueño

    https://stocksnap.io/author/34746

    The dream invades my soul, inviting it to sleep,
    in that way it feels call
    as the only way to survive.
    The dream invades my body,
    tired of trying and not being able,
    in this way it rests
    from having to do and not wanting
    The dream invades my mind,
    To let it to rest
    from it being so exhausting thought,
    which understands neither the soul nor the body
    nor to the outside that require it to have to do.

    Read more

    Cartas a mí. 01/05/2017

    De mi págitna cartas a mí.

    Hola María, llevo unos días sin escribirte porque entre un bajón enorme que he tenido, el estudio que lo alquilo por días y que tanto dolor como he sentido no sé como expresarlo, sólo sabría contar las cosas tal y como suceden y cómo a mí me afectan pero tampoco quiero hacer intervenir en las cartas a terceras personas, y más cuando se trata de algo negativo y quizás mi interpretación no es la verdad absoluta.

    Lo que si esreal es que he tenido un bajon o varios muy grandes, que J.A. y mama me han ayudado, y otros he sido yo quien he luchado por no dejarme morir. ¡Maldita depresión! y mañdita vida tambien, en la que la suerte nunca nos acompañó y eso que nacimos justo en mitad del verano, para mí la época más bonita, alegre y llena de posibilidades.

    Entre tanta tragedia tambien me han sucedido cosas graciosas, te prometo que en la próxima carta te cuento algunas, para que no todo sea negativo. Te envío una imagen del lugar donde te escribo, un banco tomando el sol.

    Un beso.

    María.

    1493629363322
    by Espe Perez

     

    Despite fear, I am doing my best.

    Difficult days are these last, too much anxiety when I have to speak with somebody or wait in a queue.

    In the last week I have suffered many panic attacks. Nowadays whenthis happens, my hands begin to shake, my tongue is not able to emit the properly sound, stuttering is becoming to be my way to speak. Sweat runs though my body, and fear, much fear. Fear of people, fear of facing problems, fear even of going for shopping, fear of my reactions. But, though it, I am doing it.

    Image by google

    MAS EN ESPAÑOL

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    Words

    Words,
    What are the words?
    They can be so much,
    and so little.
    They are merely signs
    from a sender,
    which can be send from the soul,
    from fear,
    and also just used without reason.
    And these are the worst,
    empty words,
    arriving at the receiver,
    who believes they are signs
    and they are nothing more than an illusion.
    Words..

    – by Dreams’Espe
    01/07/ 2016

    wp-1467410373132.jpeg

    Read more in Spanish

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    Mi nuevo libro. Ya lo tengo.

    Mi libro. Salido del corazón, en forma de Imágenes y poesías. Cómo dice la editorial Universo de libros: consideramos que se trata de una obra optimista, ya que pretende ayudar y aportar y que puede ser de interés para muchos lectores de toda índole. Una obra para leer despacio, absorbiendo los conceptos narrados y parándose a pensar sobre lo que se expone y sugiere. El hilo conductor es adecuado y la gramática facilita la lectura.

    Si alguien está interesado ponerse en contacto conmigo o ver más en

    https://www.amazon.es/dp/1521228795  – Español

    http://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XS8SDSZ – Inglés
    GRACIAS.